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About Varied / Artist Member Batsy FeyFemale/United States Groups :iconcare-bear-villains: Care-Bear-Villains
What's bad is good to us!
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You guys... 

Today my depression has reached an all-time low. I must be the most pathetic, lonely person on all of DA. 

My last fandom, while it made me popular, (or at least, the closest thing to popular I think I've ever been or ever will be) has long outgrown me. Fandoms don't last forever, and the painful memories and bad experiences that came with it are not something I can say I exactly miss. 

My new fandom, while it offers me a fresh start and an escape from all those mental monsters (as well as a way to conquer old childhood demons that only autism can bring) comes with a price as well. 


I.. am so.. fucking alone.
ALONE.


I don't get it. I do the fucking best I can with the talents I have. I have been putting my heart and soul into what I create, as I always have. But it's still not enough! What more do I have to do to make it clear that what I feel isn't just "me" again, that I am more than just some lonely delusional loser fucktard as fucking usual?!? 

Sigh.. Here's the deal: I'm disabled. An autistic woman living on SSI. My parent are both disabled too, each with their own respective shit. All 3 of us live on disability. So, no, I don't work, and no, I don't go to school. I hate those thing anyway. I have ever since childhood, as I consider those thing a waste of time. I barely get out, and have next to nothing in the way of a social life outside the internet. And the internet is becoming a place I relate to less and less all the time. 

So, fandom and imagination is all I have to get me through life. And when that dries up... well, wtf am I supposed to do with myself?!? I am going completely to pieces as we speak. If things don't turn around for me soon, well... I just have no idea what'll happen.

I guess if a fandom isn't new and recent, (with the exception of things like Disney, Star Wars and Star Trek, etc. and other things that get special treatment) it doesn't stand a chance. Survival of the fittest, or at least most well-marketed, I guess. Fucking Darwinism of fandom, that's what it is.


More bad news.. I hate, really hate American McGees Alice. Both of them. I think that shit is nasty and vile. Never played any of them, don't care to. I can't even stand modern video games or all the fad and popularity that they bring. Yes, I think video games (with the exception of a select few that I've enjoyed since childhood) are fucking over-RAT-ED . There, I said it, and I don't care what the hardcore gaming eggheads of the internet think. I have not cared for some time. For all I care, they can all be taught a lesson for making this poisonous shit as popular as it's become!

..Having said that, I confess a dark truth about myself: I fear I have found myself developing unhealthy feelings for Dr. Angus Bumby, the head villain of the second game, and the one responsible for all the terrible events of the series. How can that be?!? It can't be love. I could never love a person that rapes, murders a family, destroys a little girls sanity, and brainwashes children to become prostitutes for pedophiles! That's everything I despise and consider ultimate evil.
And yet... he had to be such an interesting and charismatic character that I can't stop thinking about. Do I like, or condone what he does? No! Absolutely not! And if he were a real person, I would fucking murder him. Do I like him? Or at least have at least some tender feelings for? ..Maybe.
God, this is the most painful and conflicting case of "love the sinner, hate the sin" I have ever known. Retarded, overly-sensitive pansy that I am, I'm actually crying right now. 


Fuck you, American McGee. In my opinion, it is you that is the real villain here. Just because you had a traumatic childhood (and possibly because your mother cruelly gave you a tacky-as-hell name like "American") don't think that that gives you the right to go spreading your dark shit around to others and ruining other peoples' sanity. Right now, I'm feeling like you should be sorry for creating all of that and can have the shit beaten out of you, for all I care. Now Wonderland is fucking ruined because of you. 
I hope you're proud of yourself, you jerk.



..So, yeah. All the reasons listed above are why I've been lying low for the most part. Make of it what you will.
 
  • Mood: Shitty

deviantID

Batsy-Fey
Batsy Fey
Artist | Varied
United States
O.C. Name: Batsy Fey.

Species, human?: Uh, negative, I am a meat popsicle.:P But seriously, Batsy is a (mostly) friendly succubus who works as a muse.

Gender: Female. Well THAT much is obvious!

Current age: 28


Residence: Ummmm.... Guess!


Likes: Characters (mostly villains, including No Heart, Rasputin, V.V. Argost, General Grievous, The Horned King, Captain Hook, Wiseman, Davy Jones, Death and many more), making OCs, pairing OCs with fave villains, creating fanfiction, drawing art, bats, daydreaming, dancing, junk food, cartoons, the internet, vore, open-mindedness, (most) liberalism, lots of things that were popular in the 80s or 90s, silly, witty stuff, dark weird things as well as girly pretty things, the color pink, magical stuff, yaoi and yuri, hurt/comfort, animals, plants and nature, passionate villain romance and lots other stuff.

Dislikes: Stupid, immature people with no common sense, religious fanaticism, god-fearing, homo/xenophobia, having no energy, being tired when I'd rather be doing something constructive, computer glitches and errors, political and economic bullshit, over-advertised, over-blown movie trends, anything overly "trendy", being asked for requests, Artist Block, people not taking responsibility for their actions and/or learning from their mistakes, being broke, being stalked by people I don't like, trolls, flamers and spammers, flame-wars, shipping wars and other fanwars and "re-post-this-if-you-agree-or-you-have-no-soul" messages.

My new chatroom here chat.deviantart.com/chat/Batsy…
Let me know if you want to use.^^ Enjoy!

Current Residence: The boondocks.
Favourite genre of music: Anything that makes my skin tingle, I guess.
Favourite style of art: Fan art that does the subject matter justice.
Operating System: Windows 8 PC
Shell of choice: Seashell bikini.
Skin of choice: Anime girl skin
Favourite cartoon character: Dr. Spike Rabbit, Wilshire Pig (Will Vinton's "Claymation Easter Special") No Heart and the Evil Spirit (Care Bears) and more...

Personal Quote: "Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck!"
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Comments


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Hidden by Owner
:iconbatsy-fey:
Batsy-Fey Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2014   General Artist
Don't you get it? I don't want to anymore. Never. Don't ask me again!
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:iconartyellenlol:
ArtyEllenLOL Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2014
Thanks for Favin! :D 
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:iconb1ackpear1:
B1ackPear1 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2014
Thank you for the favorite!
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:iconalexharuko:
AlexHaruko Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the favourite on Rest In Peace Robin Williams (1951-2014)
~◘~◘~◘~◘~◘~◘~◘~◘~◘~◘~◘~◘~
Here's a Llama! :llama-thrust:
~◘~◘~◘~◘~◘~◘~◘~◘~◘~◘~◘~◘~
Please check out this group: TheSanctuaryNetwork
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:iconkiraimirai:
KiraiMirai Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the favourite on R.I.P Robin Williams (1951 - 2014)
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Llama jump Here's a Llama, special for you!
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Please check out my gallery when you can.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Don't forget to give this Facebook page a like!: I'm Just Your Problem.

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:iconiridescent-princess:
Iridescent-Princess Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fave! :D
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:iconmakeyourownmusic:
makeyourownmusic Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014
ooh, happy belated birthday! hope it was a good one :glomp: :huggle: :wave:
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:iconyukairyujin:
YukaiRyujin Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2014  Student General Artist
Thanks for the fav :D
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